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"Have Booty, Will Travel"





Tilíon's travels have taken her through many fine places, here's a selection of her hot recommendations!






Oakhurst

Considered as the Cusco of Faerûn, Oakhurst is an oft overlooked and maligned town with it’s own certain rustic charm. Set amongst rolling farmlands of the Crags, in the shadow of the old sawmill you are guaranteed a friendly face and no doubt a tale or two!



The incredibly hospitable inn, the ‘Boar and Barley’ offers up great mead and home cooked fare, and perhaps a challenge for the discerning adventurer (if you are lucky!). If you can set aside a few hours, a trip to the humble Temple of Pelor for some quiet reflection will stead you well for your onward journey. Try to head in the early morning, to catch the sunrise yoga session with local cleric Erky Timbers.



However, as every discerning traveller knows, Oakhurst’s main draw is it’s location as an excellent base for unique excursion opportunities:



Sunless Citadel Ruin Tour
The Sunless Citadel is best taken in as a multi-day trek (guided or self-guided, depending on your own level of arrogance/competency) to enjoy the splendid scenery on your way to the ancient ruins. The archeological site is approached via the descent of a steep cliff, so be warned ye of faint heart. The ruins themselves are in a sorry state of disrepair but if you can make it past the rudimentary security, the original stunning decór remains. The walls are adorned with rich carvings of dragons and elves in an entirely non-symbiotic relationship (graphic images ahead!). Be warned though - they are not fully abandoned, and some of it’s magical protections still stand in place… The Twilight Grove (a very niche cider bar) has almost mythical restorative properties and comes highly recommended.



Safari Tour
The outskirts of the Sunless Citadel are home to a variety of fauna and flora bound to delight and terrify in fairly equal measure. Although there are a few of your ‘garden variety’ beasties in the area (ie. quite a sizeable enclave of kobolds), the joy of the region is in it’s rare creatures. Be careful with that bracken and firewood you are carrying: it could be a Twig Blight! Is that the rumble of thunder off in the distance, or is it a HUGE frog with a taste for Gnome?
Oh! And there may be a juvenile white dragon in the area, perhaps… If you do see Calcryx, say ‘Hi!’ from the Bishops and RUN.



Wizardly Wines Vineyard
On the long road to Waterdeep, weary (and thirsty) travellers should definitely check in to the Wizardly Wines vineyard to try their delectable and magical wines. With roots embedded within the School of Wizardry, the beverages are pure magic, and their latest vintage is now readily available following a, how can we say, reinstallment of the supply chain. Lodgings are available, and you will be well catered for by the wonderful Glowkindle, the proprietor. Fun fact: the vineyard building basement is supposedly haunted by a difficult puzzle and an annoying spellcaster. Ask Glowkindle nicely, and maybe he will let you have a peek (Tell him Tilíon sent you)!







Waterdeep

Ah, well, what introduction does one need to the City of Splendours?! The spirling northern metropolis is home to over 130,000 people (only, perhaps, half of which are shady), which means there is much adventure to be had for humble homebodies and budding adventurers alike! As well as being able to cater to every form of ahem pleasure and delight available, due to its vast size Waterdeep can also manage to cater to almost every budget imaginable - very helpful for those parties not quite as accomplished as others.



Here are my top recommendations to experience the true nature of Waterdeep, the first is to obtain the services of some horses and a carriage for the day. Trust me: you’ll want to save your strength for socialising, and the extra boot space for carrying your many purchases will really come in handy.



Hospitality
The Yawning Portal: Sometimes, an inn can be excellent on account of its service and ale, or because of it’s gimmick. The Yawning Portal serves up the two in perfect synergy. You will be incredibly well catered after by the legendary Durnan and his staff: food, beverages and the bathhouse are to die for. However, as the tavern is built above the entryway to the Undermountain - so one day you may have to literally die for the fare.
The Gagging Frog: The city’s hottest new tavern, offering up wholesome delicious fare (we assume), and outstanding beers (probably) and magical wines (confirmed). Although often mentioned in tandem with not so exciting and hip words like old, human and cleric, do not disregard the inn too quickly! The Gagging Frog is set to be the premier establishment in the North Ward, and is expected to be showcasing local entertainment, running gambling evenings as well as hoping to make a name for themselves as the most hospitable hosts in all of Waterdeep! I mean, what tavern is so cool to have passed up the opportunity to have the front-of-house ran by a friendly ghost? This place! Don’t mind the dwarven ranger in the corner, she looks at everyone like that… Expecting to be opening in the next few weeks - look out for the official opening evening advertised in the Waterdeep Wazoo sometime soon!



Shopping
Brian the Sword Master’s Smithy: Do you like your weapons to be sold at outrageously beefy veterans, at almost ridiculous wholesale prices? Then Brian is your man! The armoury is incredibly well kitted out with all the essentials that any budding adventurer could require and cannot be missed, being located on Brian’s Street in the Dock Ward. Finer quality at a reasonable price will be hard to find elsewhere in Waterdeep. Will consider part-exchange on goods, and does accept magical weapons.
Thorgan’s: At first glance, Thorgan Gorban’s cellar looks like a cosy welcome sight as you wander the streets of the North Ward, looking for something other than an ale to soothe your aching bones and burning heart. However, this boutique bar offers the only organic, free range mushroom wine in the city - and even better, it is delicious. The earthy notes are cut through with glorious amber sweetness, the perfect accompaniment to the new trend snack sweeping the town: potato flakes. Come for the hipster wine, stay for the mechanical hover chamber.
The Market: As with any good city guide, please let me direct you straight to The Market, located in the middle of the Castle, North and Sea Wards. The market is always a hive of activity, and your senses will be assaulted by a menagerie of colourful stalls, and even more colourful language as the local populace barter, argue and obtain the freshest produce available. Take the time when you are here to indulge your nose: perhaps a lucky perception check will lead you to a local street vendor selling the local regional dish of melverfew (you will thank yourself if you eat first, ask questions later). Sunday’s offer a local antique market, well worth the trip if you have an intimidating friend or two to help lower the price.
The Old Xoblob Shop: The most curious curiosity shop in the entire continent. This is not the type of place you should enter with a specific item in mind. Tip your hat to the stuffed Beholder in the window (a gesture of good will), and enter to be dazzled by Old Xoblob himself, apparently. If you have a penchant for being upsold useless but entirely enjoyable trinkets and the colour purple - you are going to have a really good time. If you spend enough time there, you could be hot boxed by the Deep Gnome himself, such is his hookah smoking prowess. Xoblob is known to be a wholly generous businessman, who doesn’t punish any patrons who bring their borrowed items back weeks after the agreed time, so that’s nice…



Culture
The Walking Statues of Waterdeep: These eight colossal statues are undoubtedly the most iconic features of the city, and are essential viewing for any visitor. Once acting as great ethereal guardians of the city, they now stand silent in their watch and act as excellent navigational landmarks throughout the city. Speak to your carriage driver, he shall no doubt be able to incorporate a visit to these statues in your journey around the city.
Lightsinger Theatre: As Waterdeep is a vastly wealthy city, the arts have strong footing within the city in all their forms. The ostentatious building is truly gaudy, but does house some of the most exquisite operatic talent in the whole of Faerûn. If available, do book the box seats - it is common to meet some interesting folk at the theatre…
Vicious Vixen: The Black Viper Walking Tour: You’ve read the stories, and you have heard of the legend. Now walk (literally) in the footsteps of Waterdeep’s infamous Black Viper! This interactive tour of the locations of the crimes is presented by Waterdhavian local Chomsky Timbers, whose understanding of the art of the Black Viper (bordering on sheer fanboying) will have you hooked. Finish your tour at The Gagging Frog, for a complimentary shot of ‘The Black Death’.



Oh! And did you know that the Mayor of the city Maxine is a horse? A world first, we think. Or incorrect.







Kvaldir

Supposedly named for elite leather gloves of ungodly power, Kvaldir is a quaint yet sizeable trading town, nestled in the shadow of Inara’s Peak. If you want a taste of the ‘real life’ the denizen’s of Kvaldir are the truest, most hardy folk you are likely to meet in the North.



As with all town’s in this region, the heart of Kvaldir is most certainly its local tavern, the ‘Bitter Bug Bear Inn’. Excellent (if a little drafty) rooms, ale on tap and the single best place to pick-up the hottest dance trends sweeping the Sword’s Coast. An unmissable stop!



However, Kvaldir is also a wonderful tourism gem in it’s own right with plenty of worthy attractions. The temple of Moradin, overseen by Gilhaern, is a fine example of Dwarven craftsmanship. The temple goers are aloof but welcoming - try and visit during prayer, it is a fabulous experience.



Just a short half-day journey outside the town walls will take you to the aptly named ‘Dead Marshes’. This extraordinary area of flora is unique to the area and is curiously almost devoid of animal life - bird nor beast can not be heard over the stillness of the Marshes. The guards warn not to visit at night, as the weather can take a strange turn and there are fell voices on the air. But totally worth it for the portrait to show your friends, right?! Continue on past the marshes to reach a fairly new addition to the area: Amarok’s Rescue Shelter for Extremely Large Adorable Dogs (ARSELAD for short). This centre has popped up in the ruins of an old farmstead, located within the windmill. It will be a bit of a hit or a miss whether it is open when you visit, as it runs by the lunar calendar but well worth the wait. The dogs are really, really ridiculously big looking.



All of your essential needs can be met throughout the town. If you are looking for weaponry and armour, try Beldur the Smith. And remember, it’s chilly out there - so head to the Crying Wolf Shoppe, for pelts and warm weather clothing that cater to us Southern softies.



Tribor
Conveniently located between Waterdeep and Kvaldir, the town of Tribor makes for an excellent grass station stop on your journey. The Pewter Cup Inn does a great breakfast with plentyful eggs, and the hearty fare is relatively well priced for this route. There is an excellent magical provisions store located in the town called ‘Potions Galore!*’. If visiting, readers should speak to Xandra and quote “So, I take my big axe” for a 2 gold discount. You are welcome!



*paid advertisement






Silverymoon

Like walking into a dream, Silverymoon stands as a beautiful testament to the lost Myth Drannor. If one could imagine Waterdeep as a prime stag-do location, Silverymoon would be the equivalent of a highbrow cultural city visit. As a centre for knowledge, magic and lore in Faerûn, much of the joy of the city is in pottering around it’s cobbled streets admiring its glimmering towers, and visiting the numerous libraries and museums of the town. Fochlucan College has its home here, and is worth setting aside an afternoon to walk the halls. Many notable Bards have graced this college, and the library itself is a vast treasure trove.



A must see on every visitor’s list is of course the Moonbridge, the magical bridge that crosses the River Rauvin to join the Northbank and Southbank of the city. The bridge itself is invisible (with the exception of a faint glimmer in moonlight), and can be severed in the middle of the bridge to allow the passage of ships when required. Most certainly one of the greatest feats of magical architecture that still stands today.



A slightly off-piste fad has been sweeping the city of Silverymoon recently: extravagant footwear. Spend some time perusing the side streets and thoroughfares of the town and you are likely to find some eye-catching curled toe boots, and wildly vibrant moccasins of all the colours of the Prismatic Wall. Be warned, to walk a mile in those shoes will most likely cost an arm and both legs, so bring your allocated cash man of the party with you!



Detailed account of the City of Silverymoon will be updated soon!



The Temple of the Restful Lily
Is the pleasant hustle and bustle of Silverymoon too much for you? Have you studied your little heart out, or think that your head will explode if you have to clap eyes upon another marble bust? Then a stay at the Restful Lily spa sounds just the ticket!



A day’s ride out of the city, you will come across an idyllic spa, set in a Temple of Sune, which promises rest and relaxation for all patrons. The waters of the spa pools are said to have magical restorative properties, as if being caressed in the inner thighs by the Gods themselves. The staff are almost as gorgeous as the grounds, and the massages are to DIE for. But you know what they say about life. If at first it looks too good to be true…



Do look out for the rickety tower out back - it is currently under drastic renovation, and hopes to welcome visitors soon.







High Forest Region

Normal dungeons too weak for you? Do you want to hone your survival skills? Book up for a two-week ‘off-the-grid’ Wilderness course with human ranger Ray Mears, and his idiot animal accomplice bear, Grylls.
Learn how to track through exceedingly difficult terrain, how to piss off potential druids, and train in the art of boxing Orcs. Enquire with Sophia at the Griffyn’s Nest Inn for availability and prices.



Full review of the High Forest region coming soon!